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Full referencePure Secretary Guaranteed. Transmutograph Gets Indigestion. Machine Goes Drunk On Words. (1931)
TypeJournal article
TitlePure Secretary Guaranteed. Transmutograph Gets Indigestion. Machine Goes Drunk On Words.
Year1931
JournalChina Press
Start page4
Date publication1931
LanguageEnglish
Keywordsmutograph; night; advertising; Race course; entertainment; humour; American; British; Japanese;
Abstract

The Transmutograph on Thibet Road facing the Race Course had indigestion Sunday night. 

Being a public servant, however, it was not able to take the night off. Whether or not its master had fe it on an improper word diet is unknown. At any rate the Transmutograph chewed badly those phrases it was fed. 

At 19.15 p.m. the following advertisement was flashed on the electric screen: 

CAPITAL

GUARANTEED PURE 

SECRETARY 

Not content with that wise-crack, the Transmutograph let forth with another: 

JAPAN STANDING

STORAGE 

AT GENEVA

This commentary on Sino-Japanese affairs remained on the elcetric screen for more than five minutes. The Transmutograph was evidently having trouble in thinking of a better one. But finally the Transmutograph got an idea. 

LEARN TO DANCE

LIGHT AND DURABLE

27 NANKING ROAD 

Then, going entirely crazy, proably from laughing too much at its own sense of humor, the Transmutograph flashed the following garbled phrase: 

BRITISH TRADE

AMERICAN STUDIO

PLACED BY ORDER

The company had been phoned by a bystander and a Transmutograph's mechanic was rushing to Thibet Road to administer a well-needed cathartic to the machine. But before the master arrived the Transmutograph got in the final word: 

CHONG WO AND CO. 

GOLD MEDAL PAINT

CANTON TEA SETS 

When the mechanic arrived he put the Transmutograph to bed. He explained that the ause of the trouble was a misplaced electric card, which caused the machine to print at the same time three lines, all representing different avertisements. 

"Was the Transmutograph drunk?" a bystander queried. "Yes," chirped another. "Drunk on words!" 

Note

27 October 1931, p. 4

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